It has been almost one year since I left the country I was born and lived outside of it for the first time, without knowing when I will be returning. It has been one year of growth through challenging times, plenty of healing, self-reflections and stark awakenings. One year is not a very long time, and it has certainly fleeted by. I was told that Maunga Taranaki brings people here to heal. It has certainly felt that way after a year of unknowingly being pulled apart in all aspects of life here, that felt like I was falling apart. I am slowly putting myself back together again. I have and am still going through hypnotherapy to work on my fear of driving. I have learned that a deep core wound of my childhood was the lack of nurturing from my parents as a child, and that wound has subconsciously implanted itself in my marriage and my parenting of my own children. Stark awakening as AHA moment, but now made so much sense on hindsight. Healing is never linear, so I’ve learned. I thought I was passed the trauma of my father’s death, but tada, it reappeared in my hypnotherapy session! I’ll be damn. After so many years… who knew. This past year has been full on, and time never really felt like it was on my side. It was a constant lack of time to do this or that. Time became a luxury. Wanting to be productive and efficient in a country that prides itself on slow living, is in itself a healing journey for me. I was forced to slow down to nature’s pace, whether I like it or not.
As this year is coming close to an end, it naturally brings me to reflect on what’s next in the new year ahead? But get this, as if I had not learned to slow down enough, I am currently being asked to cancel or postpone all events in December due to a persistent cough that does not seem to go away. Solo parenting 3 sick kids for 2 weeks had just beaten me up. My chest feels like it’s drowning with pains, and left me zero energy or motivation to think about next year. All I want is to get well before next year. See, when we are feeling well and healthy, we have all the time and space to dream and create, but when one is unwell, all that we can ever think of is only to get well. This is the dilemma of being human. We take our health for granted all the time, and pursue everything our heart’s desires, when we do not have to think about recovery from illnesses. Yet when we are down, that is all we can ever think of. Just to recover and be well again. One thing I have realised living here in Taranaki is that medical welfare is sorely lacking. I myself procrastinated to get myself to a doctor simply because I was not registered at any clinic and its impossible to get doctor appointments, unlike back in Singapore, you can walk into any clinic, anytime, and you get to choose which doctor you trust to give you a proper diagnosis. I sense so much displeasure with the medical system here amongst the community, that it feels like everyone is just complaining about how bad it is. I have been disappointed with the medical system back in Singapore as well, when my first son was badly misdiagnosed that almost killed him before he turned 1 years old. That feeling of helplessness, being unable to help my own child was absolutely unpleasant and I would not wish that on any parents. That also became my motivation to learn self-healing in anyways that is as natural as possible to be able to have the skills to help my own children whenever necessary. It is the reason I turned to essential oils, herbs, energy healing and eventually sound healing to maintain higher vibrations so that dis-ease does not happen frequently.
As I sit here staring out the window, blanking out on what to offer for the community next year, and how I can more effectively allow more people to experience the power of sound healing with me, the idea of holding a safe private container for those who are suffering from chronic aches and pains, stress, anxiety, insomnia came to mind. It is not only the medical system here that needs a reboot, but I noticed that finances of most people are very tight in NZ, and not many are able to splurge on alternative medicine or healing modalities, even spiritual practitioners themselves are having tight purse strings. I’ve long wanted to research in the power of sound healing, and to collect my own case studies of real life people who use sound healing to heal certain conditions. So I’ve curated a 4 month private container for people who are suffering from chronic aches and pains, stress, anxiety, insomnia to come forth to join me on an experiential sound journey to see what sound healing can do for them as a community healing project. The idea is out there now, and I’m happy to just lean in and surrender into the flow to see what happens and whoever is out there to join me on this experiential journey.
One year can do so much, and I feel like my entire family has grown so much within this year too. I am beyond happy to see my children growing and thriving in a new community, in a new school with new friends. My own personal growth has certainly been expedited too, even though it can be rather painful at times. I do not know what the next year will bring, but I do know that I will continue to be led by sounds and wherever they will take me. Where do you see yourself in the coming new year? How have you grown this year? What have you shed or will continue to shed in the coming year? I wish you good health, self-empowerment in your healing journey and laser focused clarity on your gifts and talents and how you can contribute to your community in the year ahead. Blessed holidays!
