We are born to suffer. Agree? We suffer from the country we are born into. We suffer from the expectations of society around us. We suffer from war and tyranny. We suffer from starvation, drought, floods, and all kinds of natural disasters. Mostly, we suffer because of our wanting. We suffer because we want something we don’t have or can’t have. Our desire makes us suffer.
Our desire for more money, desire for more love, more fame, more recognition, more time, more cars, more hobbies, more of what we don’t believe we possess yet. We suffer because we want something more. Some of these sufferings are inevitable, because it pushes us to strive to work harder to gain what we hope to achieve in life. I can’t help but think, our suffering never ends, until the day we die, even if we become the most successful person, the richest person in the world imaginable, there will always be something the human will find to desire. More peace perhaps. The day we stop wanting, is the day we stop suffering.
My family has suffered in the last 15 months mentally, and emotionally because we wanted something. We wanted to find a new home, in a new country, to start a new life. Having 3 failed house offers in a span of 15 months meant we suffered financial losses, emotional pains, mental frustrations, all because we believe that we deserve to start over. It was not easy for my hubby to first get accepted into a University with his PhD topic, then it wasn’t easy to get all our visas approved, then it was the hardest to find us the right home with all the right checklist that was within our budget in the region we had always thought we will live in – South Island, Nelson, and we didn’t. But, we didn’t lose hope, all because we had come so far to get accepted into Uni, to get our visas, and now it was only a home. How hard could it be? Well hard, when the Universe tells us that we are looking in the wrong place. It was only when we opened up our hearts to accept that maybe home could be found somewhere else outside of Nelson, then did we find the perfect home entirely by chance. I remember I was even upset at my hubby for suggesting how about this house? I looked at it, and asked where the hell is New Plymouth? We haven’t even been there?! Somehow, our hearts were drawn to this house, and everything happened really fast.
I was back from Bali with my second ceremony where Pachamama had told me to be open, because it doesn’t matter where we live, we will eventually die one day. That really took me out of my obsession of finding the perfect ‘safe’ place, because in reality, nowhere is really, ever, truly ‘safe’. We lined up a few houses to view in a very short 4 nights trip to NZ, and slept the first night in our new home now. I didn’t sleep for 48hrs straight from the day of flight, and we were viewing schools, and checking out homes, and a bottle of wine at dinner knocked me out, until I shot up straight in the middle of the night, remembering, we were here to check out the vibe of the house at night! Why are we sleeping? So I woke up and walked around the house, it was pitch dark, and I had to feel my way around.
Then I looked out the night sky for stars, but there were bright lights in the horizon, so I couldn’t see the Milky Way. I tried to find the moon, and still I can’t see it. I was looking for signs if this was the home. Feeling somewhat disappointed, I went back to bed. Only to wake up 2 hours later to a beautiful dawn morning, with purple skies, and there it was, the crescent moon smiling right at me. I stepped out the balcony to look at the sky, the morning dawn, the rising sun, the moon still visible, the sounds of the birds and the river that runs behind the house, the views of the mountain ranges by the side…
I knew this was it. I want to wake up every day to these sights and sounds.
However, not wanting to feel the feeling of disappointment yet again, I did not allow myself to fall in love with the house, just in case it was not meant to be. So we kept our hearts open as we continue house viewing over the next few days. But, none compared to the river that runs by the house.
So we made our offer, and keeping fingers crossed the whole time. When our offer was finally accepted, there was a joy, and a fear at the same time. What if… What if something happens, and it can’t be again?
This feeling is totally acceptable, given that we’ve been through that 3 previous times. All paperwork were handled by my dearest hubby, and I am super grateful that he’s doing that, because I hate paperwork. By the morning of 9 Oct 2024, it was official. We found our new home, in a new country, to start over.
We will be living in Koru, near town of Oakura, and city of New Plymouth in the North Island. Who would have thought that we will find a home in a place we haven’t even visited before? Apparently, my Akashic Records indicated so, that we would end up buying somewhere we haven’t seen before. It is a relief that we now have a home, and we are due to relocate end Dec 2024.
So yes, we suffered, because we wanted a new home, a ‘better’ lifestyle, and we fought hard to make it happen. Now, we are fighting other challenges of lack of time, and decluttering for the move. But… ‘No Mud, No Lotus.’ We have to suffer to become something beautiful, we have to suffer to fight for what we desire. All sufferings comes in various degrees, and they are all suffering nonetheless. We do not compare how much one suffered to another, for the outcome for all will be different. What do you really want in life, and how much are you willing to suffer to achieve it?
